Big breasted Esther

a company outing years ago

some pogo stick thing
everyone in silly helmets
and Esther volunteering to demonstrate
how it was supposed to be done

well, the boss volunteered Esther
he always loved putting Esther on the spot
and she didn’t mind
she was the cheery one
big tits too
we had some nicknames
for her and her big tits

Esther on the pogo stick
jumping up and down
as the guy from the pogo stick rental thing
explained the ins and outs
as he grabbed Esther by the waste
and stared at her breasts a lot

everyone was in awe at Esther pogoing
or at least the guys
and Jennifer from accounting
others were just being jealous bitches
later, there was a party
with lots of booze
and me slow dancing with Esther
there was some tongue and touching
and Peter stole a bottle of vodka
from the bar after it closed
and that kind of took the attention
away from me and Esther

not long after that
I met her husband at another party
it was not awkward at all
he didn’t know or he didn’t care
Esther being cheery as always
and me thinking of the other guys
who told me they kissed Esther

“cheery little Esther
blondie biggie breaster
pogo sticking
ups and downs
boobies bouncing
smiles and frowns”

Amsterdam? No, Never more

Captain Cox
was months at sea
now disembarked
him and his crew
in Amsterdam
for just a night
to drink and eat
to drink and screw

ale, fat fish and prostitutes
ale, fat fish and dice
ale and ale and prostitutes
haze of shame and vice

some scritchy scratchy sacks
and dripping rods all red
tiny crabbies everywhere
one sailor is now dead
‘nother broke his jaw and nose
fighting with a hooker
not that Captain Cox did care
(he never was a looker)
pain in heads and vomiting
fatty fish spewed back to sea
Captain Cox and all his crew
wholeheartedly agree
Amsterdam, no, never more
to Amsterdam? abort! abort!
Amsterdam, no, never more
that sick and putrid port

salty splashes
a cooling breeze
hairs are dancing
spirits high
Captain Cox
issues the order
to not look back
“Aye aye, sir! Aye!”

The Penis Pixie Poem

she is a penis pixie
she sprinkles only lust
she then hastes to fly away
leaves men dripping just dust

she is a penis pixie
mischievous little sprite
but if she deems you worthy
she’ll make you squirt all night

oh, sweetest penis pixie
you horny little critter
sprinkle me with all your love
I’ll shower you with glitter

sprinkle me
yeah, sprinkle me
faster
faster
ohhh
I’ll glitter you
and shoot you down
with cupid’s
white arrow

Little Pink Kimono

little pink kimono
satin, smooth and soft
it makes me feel
so beautiful

way too short
but i like the feel
of wind around my balls
and how my head
goes peek-a-boo
after a few brushes
with the fabric
or how little drops
and stains adorn
the lower edges
on the front, you sick fuck

ding-dong

“hi, UPS guy”
– “hello sir, i have a package for you”
“yeah, and i for you”
i swirl like i practiced
draping cloth on both sides
of my shaft

oh, how we laughed
and said goodbyes
two heterosexual men
with a sense of humor

i love that UPS guy
almost as much
as my little pink kimono